I Don't Know, Just Saying...

Time for my Winter Break Report on my well being

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 01:22:28 GMT

:-)

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:41:50 GMT

Writing a paper. Paper. Paper. Paper writing. Paper time!
     That's one of those words and phrases that you say so many times
          That it starts to loose its meaning entirely.
What does it mean? Term paper. Writing on paper. Handing in a paper.
    But we're not actually writing anything on paper.
        Spreadsheeting. Spreadsheet writing.
Time to stare at a computer screen at a distance of less than one foot for hours at a time
only taking a break to talk to someone on AIM, make a remark about my paper, try to change the topic,
then go right back to typing.

(and taking a break to write on Live Journal of course)

Poem Battle to the Extremely Delicate and Graceful Death

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 06:43:57 GMT

If anything can get me back into writing poems it has to be this, the originator of modern poetry. 
For anyone reading this (not that you need to be told how to read it) but I like to strip this poem of
its real religious meaning (however worthy) and just close my mind and hear the poem, not read it, just let the waves
roll over me until they come crashing down at the beautiful climax.

The Windhover - Gerard Manley Hopkins

I caught this morning morning's minion, king-
    dom of daylight's dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
    Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,
    As a skate's heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
    Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
Stirred for a bird, - the achieve of, the mastery of the thing!

Brute beauty and valour and act, oh, air, pride, plume, here
    Buckle! AND the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion
Times told lovelier, more dangerous, O my chevalier!

No wonder of it: sheer plod makes plough down sillion
Shine, and blue-bleak embers, ah my dear,
    Fall, gall themselves, and gash gold-vermilion.

Walking down the road of life, I stop and look to my left...

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:55:18 GMT

I don't know what brings me back to Live Journal. I feel like I've stepped into a dusty field that used to be full of life and green, but now is mostly abandoned and forgotten. I don't know if anyone is even left out there to see this post. Actually, forget what I said before. I know exactly what brings me back to Live Journal. I can pinpoint the moment exactly. I am writing a paper for my Principles of... (whatever, its my class with Dr. "Love" James) where I have to write about my limitations in loving. Well I decided the best way to tap the well of my life and love was to imitate his very own manuscript, and use pieces of my old poems as introductions to the sections.

Well here's where it all starts. I begin to read my poems again, and when I do I really like them. Even the bad ones. I feel awash in the joys and pains of making all of these things. So I decide that I want to start writing again. I type out one line, and then... I delete it. And I type another, and another. And then I delete it again. I just can not do it. I have lost the spark that allowed me to make all of those other poems.

I always said that for me, poems come when my head fills up to the top with pure unfettered steaming emotion, and then when I can not bear to hold it in anymore, it comes gushing out of my head and spills onto the page in words. Well now I'm upset that I have tried to hard to not fill up the well with anything so that I would not have to be so upset all the time, but in doing so, I have lost the instability and reckless abandon and passion that always made me able to make my poems a rush of emotion.

I don't even know where to start, so I decided to just write on Live Journal, the place where I have conversed and dueled with past girlfriends and crushes, and where what is written here matters so little to most but so much to the few. I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm trying to find, but I hope it isn't a mistake.

States left to go through

Thu, 24 May 2007 05:14:03 GMT

~~New Jersey~~
~~Pennsylvania~~
Ohio
Indiana
Illinois
Wisconsin
Minnesota
South Dakota
Wyoming
Montana
Idaho
Washington State

...Here we come

um, ps. I'M DONE BITCHES!!!

Wed, 09 May 2007 18:47:20 GMT

I wish I had done my final music paper on Belle and Sebastien. That would have made me so happy :-D

I love new york was fake?!

Tue, 01 May 2007 17:54:53 GMT

http://www.mediatakeout.com/5284/fraud_new_york_and_sister_patterson_are_not_related.html

I never would have guessed it in a million... ah who am I kidding, to me it was pretty obvious.

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 04:02:08 GMT

sometimes I feel like I am a gigantic ball of white hot molten lead that has been forced into an iron box. Every once in a while a hole will appear, and molten lead will leak out and make some kind of pretty little metal figure. But all that I really want is for the box to be completely opened so that I can be spilled out.

Does that make sense?

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 08:19:16 GMT

ps. I think I'm getting carpel tunnel. damn you computers/ guitar hero!!!!

I is industrious at work

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 08:16:18 GMT

Man, when I start working, I start working. Resume (draft, at least) done, now to finish my paper, pick a poem for a new paper, and finish writing personal stories for a third paper. (Oh, and there's also work related stuff, but that's not important) I almost wish my overnight shift were longer... nah

Me is to Music as Freud is to Cocaine

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 20:11:35 GMT

and
I got no sleep
(Not a complaint, but a template for my day)
and
I walked up and down up and down the stairs
to look for a book that wasn't there
and
I really don't care about class anymore
I'm a burned out husk hollow man
and
The eh! bus and eeee! bus are drivng me mad
I can't live in little Asia no more
and
I need a rest a sanctuary a home but
it has been infiltrated by spy who will not leave
and
music is my drug
it eases the pain

I HATE Windows Vista

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 20:02:11 GMT

That speaks for itslef really. It's slow, it's unreliable, it's weird, no one knows how to use it. It's a damn ripoff of every other good OS and application around. People at work avoid the computer with Vista like the plague. I hate it when people (nerds) brag about how AMAZING ther Macs are (get a life), but Windows really does suck giant twat-waffles. THE END

Things I know

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 10:06:47 GMT

1) jon hodgeman is funny
2)brittish accents are funny
3)6 AM is far too late/early
4) Making lists is tedious and poinless
5) If it weren't for the daily show, I would have gone crazy at work a long time ago

the end (props to comedycentral.com)

RIP to the Little Windshield Wiper That Could

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 06:03:37 GMT

its dead now. now i need to get it fixed. but it tried so hard. so sad. spill a little malt liquor for the little guy.

P.S. tomorrow (later today) back (home?) to the rut(gers) (i sometimes feel the need for a lot of parenthesis) (maybe I should write something that uses a lot of them) (like a poem) (or something) (ok I'm done)

My life has a sountrack; that soundtrack is 5338 tracks long

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 07:52:03 GMT

It's amazing how much my mood is affected by what I listen to. Even at 3 in the morning with a paper to finish and hand in in 7 hours, coming off of one test and getting ready for yet another, fully aware I won't sleep much until friday, I don't really feel that bad thanks to some Ludwig Van (beethoven)

ok, scratch that

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:59:08 GMT

just a look at the price of a ticket to Holland was enough to convince me that trip was not happenening. and then, like the clouds opening up in the sky, the sun shone down on me in this dreary computer lab (through the internet) and showed me the true meaning of my existence. The thing i have been waiting to do for so long, this could be it. http://www.sasquatchfestival.com/. This may actually happen, so if you are interested, and have an extra (but super worth it) 150-200$ and about a week of free time around the end of May, let me know.

DROP EVERYTHING AND READ THIS

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 07:30:23 GMT

Ok, I would still like to see the grateful dead live (or whatever they are now), but I have a new dream concert!!!! Check out this http://www.lowlandsfestival.nl/. Ok, since you don't speak Dutch, I'll break it down for you/ its a festival in Holland with The Arcade Fire, Pearl Jam, a couple of European bands and... Radiohead!! This would be the craziest, but probably the most fun thing ever in the history of life. The concert is 115 euros (150$) not to mention the cost of getting there, staying there, eating, etc. So it won't ever happen. Boo being poor.

Goin to leave this Broke-down Palace

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 20:06:17 GMT

I really want to follow the Grateful Dead around the country. Ok, most likely that won't happen. I mean Jerry Garcia is dead, and I don't even know if they still tour anymore. But the fact remains: I want to do something! Something big, something life changing, something that seems like a bad idea at the time. Maybe it's just because of midterms (i really can't do all these stupid papers, I'm so glad I'm not an English major.) The irony is, it's one of these papers I'm writing that makes me want to go out follow the dead (that and a certain addicting cancelled tv show.) Ok, back to papers.

this is all a dream we dreamed, one afternoon long ago

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 09:09:00 GMT

No words, or more accurately, too many words. I wish I could capture this feeling and keep it. It's a shame it's wasted at 4:AM. On a more practical note, I wish I could sleep.

7:53 AM

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 12:57:58 GMT

"O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,
How can we know the dancer from the dance?"

Ok, he is definitely (probably) still my favorite poet (yates, by the way). And that last part of the last line is also the title of the book I'm reading now for popular music class. I SOOOO want to be able to use that. I don't know if anyone else in the class will make that connection. Is that being a little pretentious? I am the most/least pretentious person ever. And clearly I can't make up my mind about anything right now.

2:21 AM - For serious

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 07:21:43 GMT

It is hot as balls in this computer lab. No, that's no good, I can do better... It is hot as sweaty balls trapped in a jock strap after a 15 mile run in Hawaii.

Movies

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:21:51 GMT

Now naturally I imagine that I have seen every movie ever made (that's worth seeing), but I saw this somewhere and thought I might see where this is at. This is short list, maybe you can test yourself on this, see how you compare.

Movies I have seen (of this list) skip to the bottom to see the grad total

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 8

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(x)50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 16

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 26

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 33

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
( ) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 39

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snickt: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) King Kong
Total so far: 48

( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 55

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( )Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 58

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 64

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 74

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls (afraid so :-( )
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 80

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x)Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 89

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 98

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 102

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 108

(x) Baseketball
(x) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
(x) House of 1000 Corpses
(x) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 115

(x) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 122

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 129

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x)Mortal Kombat
(x) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
(x) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 136

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 142

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Grand Total: 150 of 239 Movies (not so bad)

Ramblin', Amblin', ok not really

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 05:49:21 GMT

I find that contentment is the biggest writer's block. Do I care? No. Maybe if I need to write something else I can create some kind of drama.

Me: "Dammit Squeak! Stop being so cute!"
Squeak: Scratches self, runs on wheel

Or not. Like I said before, nothing of import to say. Except maybe :-)

Early sleepage tonight. This is my studious week. (oh, and half-priced appetizers on Thursday)

7:50 AM

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 12:51:11 GMT

Sooo tired! Need sleep! Dying.........

5:02 AM

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 10:04:35 GMT

It has gotten to that magical point of the night that is seldom reached... the lab is completely empty (well, exept for my old physics TA who is in one of the side rooms) but behold, THIS IS MY KINGDOM! I AM FREE TO DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING I WANT... oh crap, here comes someone else. boo